// Abandoned on the dance floor.
I always prided myself on not being a girly girl. I never wear make-up, dresses, or low-cut tops. I don't spend forever in the bathroom, fixing my hair before I go out. I don't act a certain way or twirl my hair to get a guy's attention. I've always thought of myself as a tomboy. More so when I was younger, but even as I've grown, I've held on to the rough aspects of a tomboy's personality. Which explains why two of my best friends are guys. (Yes, that's you. Matthew Ted in the front row. And Dyllan Morgan. Somewhere in the crowd.) But lately, I started thinking. And remember, it's always bad when Stephanie is left alone to her thoughts.
What if because of my tomboyish personality and sarcastic anti-girly girl humour, that I'm doomed to live forever as "one of the guys"? No guy would ever take me seriously as a girlfriend, let alone as a wife. And no girls would really want to hang out with me because I'm a such a loser. Sure, Anne's cool and yeah, I hang with Lauren and Sarah and they're really girly, but I find myself turning into a boy-hunting femme fatale when I'm around them, which I don't always like. And that's so not my nature, as most of you know. I'm always torn. Guys are rad because they don't cause drama (or at least, not any MAJOR drama), but I can't always relate to them. But girls are so dramatic and nitpicky and I'm too chilled out for some of that stuff.
Maybe I should try being a girl more often. Or less obnoxious and attention-seeking. Learn my place in the world? I don't know. There's a reason why I've never had a serious relationship (Minus one, but that was a different story.) up 'till now and maybe this is it.
2 Comments:
Maybe you should try being a girl more often? here's something wrong with that...
First of all, you are a girl, your doing a might fine job at it. It doesn't matter if you have best friends as guys, I mean, same goes for me. Best friends include Nelly, Anne, Stephanie, and Dyllan. How many guys were in there?? One! Yeah, i do have more male friends, but yeah, same goes with girls too. So don't worry about that
Second thing, why would you want to be someone besides yourself? If I were to act more like "a guy" i might go out and buy a skate board, jeans that go down to my knees, sleep around with the ladies, and maybe take up drugs. We can't be who society wants us to be. We are who we are. You like spending time with guys better then girls. I like trains. It's our personality. If we change it, we change our image.
Imagine me not liking trains. I sold all my models, burned every tape, and cut up every picture. Am I still the same Matt Robson?
Imagine Stephanie coming to youth with make-up, and low cut top. Are you the same? No! There aren't even many girls that are like that in youth. But eventualy you'll get sucked into the wrong crowd, forget everything you value, and after a couple months, you don't even come to youth because you found out that girly girls like to sneak into clubs and have a couple of drinks.
Point is, we love you for who you are, I take you seriously, and we don't want you to change just so society doesn't think of you as a Tomboy. Sure, change minor things, but who really cares?
I know Jesus doesn't, and isn't that the only thing that matters?
I think I'm gonna go buy a skate board.... JOKE!
Steph, apart from a lickin'...
Your comfortability in who you are, your stability in character that I have seen, your ability, no matter how hard the push, to keep your character, amazes me to no end.
PURELY as a youth leader, you possess many characteristics of personality that appeal to many guys. I can say this being on the outside, and having known you for so long. You are still young. Live, laugh, and love, and you will find him. He's out there.
Don't worry about who you are during the trip there, he'll love you for who you are, regardless of how that may change depending on your social surroundings.
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