// Dedications.

I'm only pretty sure that I can't take anymore.
Before you take a swing, I wonder,
What are we fighting for?
When I say out loud, I want to get out of this.
I wonder, is there anything I'm going to miss?

I wonder how it's going to be when you don't know me?
How's it going to be when you're sure I'm not there?
How's it going to be when there is no one to talk to?
Between you and me, 'cause I don't care how it's going to be.

Where we used to laugh, there's a shouting match,
Sharp as a thumbnail scratch.
A silence I can't ignore like...
The hammock by the doorway we spent time in.
Swing's empty, don't see lightning like last fall,
When it was always about to hit me

I wonder how's it going to be when it goes down?
Hows it going to be when your not around?
Hows it going to be when you found out there was nothing?
Between you and me, 'cause I don't care how it's going to be.

Hows it going to be when you don't know me any more?
And how's it going to be, want to get myself back in again.
The soft dive of oblivion, wanna taste the soul of your skin.
The soft dive of oblivion, oblivion.
How's it going to be when you don't know me any more?
How's it going to be? How's it going to be?
How's It Going To Be? - Third Eye Blind

So many songs are jumping out at me and applying themselves to my life and my current predicament. So many messages and services and sermons are all about my life and my current predicament. Well, guess what? This current predicament kind of sucks. I'm praying for peace and for a resolution and just for God to show me what I should do to resolve this whole thing and I don't know what's going on. Everything is so surreal because I never thought it would come down to this. By this, I mean the end of an era. I never thought that I'd have to deal with losing something so close to my heart. Funny thing? It's not like he's dead. It's not like he moved. HE'S STILL THERE. HE'S STILL JUST A BLOCK AWAY. HE'S ONE PHONE CALL AND 10 DIGITS AWAY. This is what annoys the heck out of me. He's a block away, but it really feels more like two oceans and a continent. He's a world away and falling further everyday. What am I supposed to do? What can anybody do? IS there anything we can do? I don't even know anymore.

This is not fair. I should not be punished just because I wrote a song.