// Raise The White Flag

Whoever said you can’t run from your problems was right, you can’t. In fact, if you do, you come home with more problems then you had to start with. In a way, yes I did run. There have been so many mixed emotions going on in my life these past couple weeks and what life had in store for me this week has been too much to bare.

Yesterday was an awesome day. I woke up the same time you guys woke up, but when you guys just stepped into your first class, I just stepped into the ferry terminal. I left my life behind, to escape the emotions of friends, the life at home; in Vancouver. I caught the ferry to Victoria, where I spent a day with Matt and a little bit of the day with Becky. She was working so I only got to see her at lunch but we all went out for dinner. I miss them so much, and it’s sad to see how much happier they are in Victoria. Well, not sad, but sometimes you just wish they would move back out, but Richmond is just a bad taste in their mouth now. That’s kind of sad because they were my best friends and they were there for me 24/7. They dropped me off at the ferry terminal and I was on the 7 o’clock ferry home.

The mixed emotions I’ve been having lately have been a variety of different things. Mostly friends out in Richmond and a little bit of not finding a job, and maybe there has just been too much change. But it has been affecting me and I must say I have covered it up well, because no one has noticed. This was life before Monday, now let’s throw them all in a blender and see what we get.

Monday I get a call from the railway. I applied for a job as a seasonal laborer and they finally called me back. They talked to my step mom and when I came home from school I found out I was going to Revelstoke on Monday, January 31st. A little hard to swallow; an 8 hour drive away from home, going to a town I don’t know, how would you feel?
Sure I was excited but freaked out. The next day I call them back to see when the start date would be because I’m in high school; don’t want to go to Revelstoke if they say “oh, you can’t work for us, your in high school!” So I call them up leave a message pleading my case, and I though for sure they would leave me a detailed message! Nope, I come home and all the message says is “call me”. By the way, there is no possible way I can get a hold of her by me calling, I always get a voicemail, and I have to wait for her to call me back. So she says call me. Great, could have given me more details since I can’t FRICKEN TALK TO YOU WHEN I CALL!!!!! I couldn’t do anything Wednesday because I was going to Vancouver Island so I gave up for the day of Tuesday and went out for coffee with PJ. Coffee was awesome. I had a starbucks card, courtesy of Nellie, and it was a chance for him to tell me about his new job and a chance for me to tell him how screwed up I feel. We really had a good time, and it was a great time for me to just let loose. I got home at 5 feeling refreshed, only to have a dull boring night bringing my spirits down to where they have been in the last couple of days. I went to bed excited though because I was going to get to see Matt & Becky!!! Yay! Let me tell you about the rest of my Wednesday…

So getting home my dad tells me I’m getting an in-term report in photo. No surprise, my teacher is a fruit cake and I’m still trying to catch up because of my past first term problems. So I explained to my dad what’s going on and told him how crazy the teacher was and that it wouldn’t be the end of the world because it’s photo. I stepped into the house tired and Sarah wanted me to email her something, only to find a giant piece of paper saying “Matthew, No Internet (Messaging)” Which I’m staring at right now, but do I give a damn? Hell no! I’m tired and have enough crap to deal with so I go on the computer, email Sarah her stuff, and went to bed. I had just enough time to give my step mom a short summary of what I told my dad and that was it, off to bed. Today has proven to be just as a pain in the ass as last night. I called up the railway saying I’ll be home between 10:30 and 12:00 so call me then. It’s only 11:20 so there’s still time. Anywho, I went to photo, made three prints and had a rockin’ good time. I get home, check my email, and still frustrated from everything, I go downstairs to play with my playstation 2. My playstation lets me forget everything that is happening in life, because apparently you need all the brain power you can use to play video games. I did not know that, but it’s obviously helps me forget my problems. It’s like getting drunk almost, it numbs the pain. I go downstairs only to see that my playstation has been taken away, probably due to my in-term report for photo. NOOOOOO!!!! My fake drug is gone!!!! THAT’S MY DRUG! I PAYED FOR IT WITH MY OWN MONEY!!! I was okay with her taking my Nintendo away in the past because I didn’t pay for it. But I worked for my playstation! That is legally mine!! You can’t take that away! So here I am posting on how life is kicking me well I’m down. Sure it’s not that bad or other people have worse problems, but you’re not in my shoes, so you don’t know what this feels like. So if you’re going to post a comment saying suck it up, then shut up!

I’m honestly not well, but I guess I have dealt with these types of things before.

“Don’t cry for me, I’m already dead”