// Running down jagged streets.

I'm lifting you up,
I'm letting you down,
I'm dancing til dawn,
I'm fooling around,
I'm not giving up,
I'm making your love.
This city's made us crazy and we must get out.
There's only so much I can do for you,
After all of the things you put me through.

Maroon 5 - "Must Get Out

I feel so all over the place. Kind of like I'm homeless. Roaming. I'm not quite sure what it is. I think I'm restless, is all. Life is going so fast and I've got the means to do things I never could before, but I'm not doing them. Why? I could be traveling somewhere, but here I am. I could be moving out, but I'm not. I could be insanely happy, but I'm just kind of holding back. Why is that? I'm happy where I am, but I know I could be a lot happier if I'd only put thought into action. Thought into action. That's pretty hard sometimes. Just willing yourself to get out of bed is a battle when your body is tired beyond max.

I kind of wish life would just pause for a second while I sorted things out. But it doesn't always work that way, so you just gotta roll with the punches. And I'm trying my best to do that. I think what I need is a new start. Not a new start where I ditched old friends and move to a new city, no. I couldn't deal with that right now. I think what I want is a clean slate to start over with. But that doesn't work either.

I guess I just gotta learn how to be happy with missing out on certain things. I keep reminding myself that times move on, people grow up (and eventually old), things change. I'm liking the idea of change, but how much change until it's too much? I don't know but I'll have to find out.

I'm not depressed or anything. I'm just in a very contemplative mood lately. These kind of things happen when I'm left to overanalyze things. I'm just glad I'm able to wake up every morning to a new day.

P.S. In other news, I went shopping for four hours today. It made me ridiculous happy. Which is weird because I don't usually buy so much. Anyway. I visited Dom at work later on and she took her break and we talked and it was amusing. ALSO. ALSO. The show at West tonight was FANTASTIC. I am so in love with John. That boy is so amusing. YAY FOR POLKA DOTS AND ROCK N' ROLL.