// When I Fall

I figured it would just be wrong to not post for an entire month; to look at the history of this blog and see a noticeable absence for October of 2006. It could have been left at that however, leaving questions of where was I? What have I been up to?

Truth is I could have easily posted at any time during my long absence from the internet world. I have been busy, but really, dropping a line once a week on my beloved blog doesn't seem like to much to ask for.

No, its not to much to ask... But there has been no motivation.

I find myself in a interesting part of life where one day I'm incredibly happy, the next incredibly sad. More depressed then anything. Not really depressed... Just lost... And I guess being lost makes you depressed. Endless wondering and searchings for what it is you are looking for gets mentally tiring.

After people read the above, most will say "Well, pray to God that he will come and fix everything and he should be what your looking for in life and you won't need look anymore."

Thanks for the advice, but it's truly not want I want to hear. It's not that I don't believe it, but once every single person has told you to do that it gets a little annoying. Plus I'm struggling with my spiritual life as well. Instead of telling me to pray, maybe just pray for me, much appreciated...

Where I am with God... It feels as if... I'm starting over again. I once was lost, then found, and now I'm really really lost. Except this time I have the map, the tools, everything to help, and it seems like I'm doing everything properly, but I just can't get it going...

Work is work, it pays the bills. It's not much fun, but I hope soon I will be able to save some money and find something else...

FJ has not been with me for a couple weeks and I miss him dearly. My curtsey car has no clicker; its hell having no clicker! If you ever get a clicker for your car, make sure never to go back to opening your car with your keys, you'll hate it. Lazy you call me? Try it, you'll know what I'm talking about... (plus I already know I'm lazy)

I'm on top of the world. I have more money then ever before, have been purchasing more stuff then ever before, and been living a better life then ever before. However sometimes I just feel empty. Like I said before, some days I'm so excited to be alive, other days, I couldn't care less.

So what is it really? I'm a truly depressed and trying to numb it away with the occasional happy day? Or am I just stoke in a moment that I can't get out of?

There we have it. A post. October of 2006 will now be known as the first ever one post month of Whatever. Happy Halloween everyone, and do me a favor, and just leave a little post? I would have to go to all that effort for the only post of October and not get any comments... Or is that just cheating for what I said there?

Anyhoo... November is another month...