// There's a shortage of charm in this world.
I tried posting this earlier, but my computer was being stupid, so here.
ARG. It is unfortunate that I must announce to the world that I am the 1000th visitor of WHATEVER!. I was checking for new posts, but the background or colour or something wasn't loading properly, so I couldn't read any of the text. So I refreshed the page and then Matt's post came up and then I scrolled down and realized I had indeed given birth to the 1000th refresh of this site. I kinda wish it had been a visitor instead of someone who actually writes on this site. GAH. So sorry to let you all down. And now, onto the actual topic of this post.
I wish I were in love. I wish I had someone to look fondly upon and for someone to look fondly upon me. But alas, the most common looks I receive these days are looks of confusion and ridicule. I know I sound really desperate and pathetic, but that's okay. I'm just simply saying I'm getting impatient for Prince Charming to arrive, that is, if such a person exists. I believe that everyone has the perfect mate chosen for them by God and that it is in His plan and His time that we will meet this perfect partner. But you can't really blame a 17 year-old girl for wanting to be in love NOW. I was listening to a song called "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney and it made me sigh. How lovely. I'm not depressed or sad or upset or even remotely negative right now. It's just a sense of longing. I miss being held. That's all. I miss warmer weather and brighter skies. That's all, really.
Avril Lavigne's "My Happy Ending" just started up on my playlist. I admit, I do like some of her new material, but y'know. Sarah McClaughlin co-wrote all of it. But, the point is... oh, just read the lyrics. You'll get it.
Let's talk this over,
It's not like we're dead.
Was it something I did?
Was it something uou said?
Don't leave me hanging,
In a city so dead,
Held up so high,
On such a breakable thread.
It's nice to know that you were there,
Thanks for acting like you cared,
And making me feel like I was the only one.
It's nice to know we had it all,
Thanks for watching as I fall,
And letting me know we were done.
You were all the things I thought I knew,
And I thought we could be.
You were everything, everything that I wanted.
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it.
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away.
All this time you were pretending,
So much for my happy ending.
Avril Lavigne - My Happy Ending
I'm not as angry as this song may seem, but I share its sense of longing and confusion. Oh well. What's done is done.
9 Comments:
Yay! Steph is are 1000th visitor! Be in awe of Stephanie!
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes you look at teenage couples (not the sick ones!) and there just holding each other and just having a relaxed peacefull time. I wish I could have that...
My favourite part of relationships are holding hands! I love to hold peoples hands! It would be even better to hold my girlfriend's hand... well, until that time...
i would challenge the "peftect mate" thing... not out of bitterness, but other.
what it is to be loved. *sigh*
Love is a tricky thing. Waiting for love is also a tricky thing. Maybe i'm not one to talk, as I am dating someone. But I did have to wait for the time to be right. I still am waiting for some things. But it is definately worth everything.
God had created a space in me that even he couldn't fill. Human companionship is something we cannot live without.
The only valid wisdom I can give without sounding ridiculous, is to wait on God. If he has that someone out there for you, you will meet that person, and he will bless you both.
whoa! ben! careful what you say...
Can God create a rock so big he can't move it?
There's nothing he can't do, and that includes filling a hole in your heart.... Although it's a very romantic thing to say to a girl, I would imagine.
it is, random drew. but, Matt, my favorite thing to do with a significant other is to fall asleep upon them. Even if it's like on the bus, and it's a really crappy sleep, waking up to discover the one you love RIGHT THERE is the most wonderful feeling in the world.
oops, sorry, I meant Stephanie, when I said Matt.
oh, wait, never mind, I did mean Matt...k, I am very overtired.
that would be super cool awesome... that's now my second favourite thing
Andrew, I didn't mean that God couldn't have filled that hole. BUt it wasn't going away. I was in a very good space with him, we were really tight, and i prayed for so long. Every time i came back to the same place, I just didn't have close human companionship anymore. It says in genesis, that adam was lonely, so God made eve. Not to say i'm adam or my girlfriend is eve. But people can't live without closeness with others. anyways, i do see your point, I was not saying God wasn't filling a whole.
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